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Laci Bean

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Indoctrination

The Indoctrination That Disconnects You From Your Body

Family

Growing up surrounded by evangelical circles I was constantly told that I can’t trust my heart. The way they do this is by teaching you from a young age that you were born a selfish sinner in need of forgiveness and since your human who’s innately sinful then you can’t trust your heart because it’ll just lead you astray.  This…
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Spiritual Bypassing

The Churches Use of Spiritual Bypassing

Family

Spiritual Bypassing (v):  “The tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”-Wikipedia When churches experience scandals, hardships, or anything that sparks negative emotions they use spiritual bypassing to avoid those exact emotions.  Let me give you some examples.  Someone’s grandfather died in a car wreck.  “God works…
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Lead People to Jesus

I Don’t Lead People to Jesus…

Family

I know that title can make people cringe, but it’s true. If you’re here reading this because, you yourself are deconstructing, then you probably understand where I’m coming from, but for everyone else let me explain.  I grew up in many evangelical circles. In each and every one I was taught that my job to teach people about Jesus, save…
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Religious Trauma

What is Religious Trauma?

Coaching· Healing· Religious Trauma· Spirituality· Trauma

I’ve been asked multiple times how religion in general can cause trauma. I get it, it’s hard for some people to see something they have experienced as good and wholesome in a way that’s harmful to others.  Unfortunately, the reality is it can and does. So religious trauma usually comes up when someone starts questioning their long-held beliefs that have…
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Do you know your ACE score?

Healing· Therapy· Trauma

Not too long ago I had an assignment in school where I had to go take the ACE score assessment for myself. Before this class I had NEVER heard the ACE score but quickly became fascinated with it. Ok so what is an ACE Score? It stands for A- AdverseC-  ChildhoodE-  Experiences It was developed after a study of 17,000…
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Religious Trauma

What Made Me Start Deconstructing My Faith

The 10 Year Letter

Escaping A Cult Part 3: A Fairy Tale Wedding

More Posts from this Category

Deconstruction

Why I Classify My X-Ministry As A Cult

Escaping a Cult | My Personal Story

It’s Time To Bring Back WWJD

More Posts from this Category

Self Development

Why Setting Boundaries Is Healthy & Necessary

How A Challenge Tracker Can Help You Reach Your Goal + Free Printables

7 Ways to Fix a Day That’s Spiraling Out of Control

More Posts from this Category

Life

How to Help A Loved One Who Deals with Anxiety

10 Ways to Help A Grieving Friend

To Those Who Think I Need to Keep Having Kids

More Posts from this Category

Hello! I’m Laci…

Hi my name is Laci & I’m a deconstructing exvangelical who’s passionate about helping others heal from religious trauma and find what spirituality means to them. Read More….

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laci__bean

She’s back to brunette! I may have cried when I She’s back to brunette! I may have cried when I made the decision but 1 year of bleaching my roots and rocking the purple (when I’m not a professional) made my hair dry and damaged as 🦆! I knew that it wouldn’t be long until I was rockin wigs (no shame, wigs are great but EXPENSIVE) if I kept up the purple. This is not the brunette I wanted but it’s what we’re working with. (It’s lighter in person.)
It’s not lost on me that this was the shirt I wo It’s not lost on me that this was the shirt I wore today…
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#roevwade #womensrights
It’s been a hell of a past 20 days. The number 1 It’s been a hell of a past 20 days. The number 1 lesson I’ve learned?? I NEVER WANT TO BE A LANDLORD BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GROSS!
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#peoplearegross #why #🤮 #landlordlife #notforme
It’s always amazing when you get to meet tik Tok It’s always amazing when you get to meet tik Tok friends in real life! Thanks for grabbing a coffee with me and my fam! @red_sage1
Why do I one like pictures of me when I’m being Why do I one like pictures of me when I’m being weird? 😂😂
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#embracingmyweirdness #bodypositivity #feelingpretty #beyou
It’s been a hell of a few weeks and it’s not c It’s been a hell of a few weeks and it’s not close to ending, but every day we are getting a little more settled.
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Being flexible is our motto at the moment. We have a mice problem in the basement of our new house which has cut us off to our 3rd bedroom, storage space, and my office until it can get treated and the insulation replaced.
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Please send all the good thoughts, vibes, and prayers our way that this gets taken care of before our stuff arrives from ID or we will have to store our belongings and continue sitting on lawn chairs and sleeping on air mattresses. (I know, I know, 1st word problems.)
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BUT DAMN!! Tennessee is BEAUTIFUL! Like drop dead gorgeous 
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#tennessee #easttennessee #crosscountrymove #gowiththeflow #beflexible #onedayatatime #lifeisajourney
I’m definitely back in the south. I’ve only be I’m definitely back in the south. I’ve only been here a few hours and I’ve already been called sweetheart and ma’am!😂
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#livinginthesouth #southerncharm #tennessee #backinthesouthyall
This is me trying to step away from social media f This is me trying to step away from social media for a couple weeks. I may not be successful but it’s worth a shot. But please remember if you need me, my email is open and I will continue to check it regularly.
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#selfcare #mentalhealthawareness #settingboundaries #puttingmyselffirst #socialmediabreak
Allow yourself the time to grieve and process. Allow yourself the time to grieve and process.
I grew up in small town Texas. Where everyone kno I grew up in small town Texas.

Where everyone knows everyone and somehow we are all inter-connected.

When I visited my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins we gathered in more small towns.

These are the kinds of small towns that most people would never know exist, and the townspeople are more than happy to keep their hometown out of the public eye so they can preserve that small town feel.

These towns have a way of making you feel safe, that’s why many people call them home.

After I got married my parents moved to Uvalde for my dad’s work and lived there for a couple years.

The Uvalde house was the last place my mom, dad, and all my siblings and I spent Christmas together.

Uvalde is another one of those small Texas towns, but unfortunately everyone now knows this town.

But what they don’t know is how a tragedy like this impacts a small town.

It hits different.

Small towns people are inter-connected in a deep way.

Uvalde citizens are mourning the loss of their child, their child’s best friend(s), their child’s teacher whom they may have known for years or even grew up with. Teens and adults are mourning the loss of the child they babysat.

Some may be mourning all of the above at the same time.

I’m mourning for them. For complete strangers.

I have a child in public school and I can’t imagine experience this kind of trauma.

From the moment I heard the news I broke. I don’t hide my emotions well, so my kids know I’m upset.

They asked why but I didn’t tell them. I just said that there was something on the news that made me sad.

I know she will probably hear about it at school tomorrow and come home with questions.

I won’t know what to say. Just like I didn’t know what to say or how to explain the fact that we didn’t have ‘active shooter drills’ growing up like she does.

The reality is, this is her normal, because this is the new normal.

I hate it.

We need change.
When is enough, enough? Thoughts and prayers don’t make change.
#weneedguncontrol #stopgunviolence
“I would give anything to be your size.” The “I would give anything to be your size.”

The few times I’ve opened up about being unhappy with my body I get that response, or even, “You don’t know what real body image issues are.”

So I shut up. Feeling as if my insecurities were invalid because I wasn’t big enough to have them, I stopped opening up and silently hated my body and berated it in my own head.

I finally opened up to a dear friend who is a survivor of anorexia, in which the battle almost claimed her life. She not only listened, but validated all my feelings. For the first time I felt seen. Thank you @lacijanea 

I’m still processing and to be honest I still hate my body. At this point I’m not trying to learn to love my body, I’m just trying to accept it, then maybe eventually I can love it.

So this is me being vulnerable, buying clothes that fit me regardless of the size, wearing a body suit and trying not to focus on my rolls that show, or the fact that my once thigh gap is no more. This is me trying to be comfortable in my own skin, one day at a time.

#bodypositivity #bodyimagehealing #skinnyshaming #learningtolovemyself #bodyacceptance #selflove #selfcare #movingforward #healingjourney
Fun fact, I never thought tattoos were sinful, but Fun fact, I never thought tattoos were sinful, but I sure as hell was given many pamphlets and articles to explain how they were. Needless to say I didn’t listen. 😂 I’m back at it again! This is tattoo number 2 for today! 😁 Is this self care? Who cares, I say yes!!
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#tattoos #addictedtotattoos #womenwithtattoos #momswithtattoos #tattoosarelife
Trying to learn to love myself. It’s hard. That’s all.
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#bodyimageissues #bodyimagehealing #selfcare #selflove #itsajourney #imtrying #healing #learningtolovemybody
I took Plan B. Here is my story. #prochoice #women I took Plan B. Here is my story. #prochoice #womensrights #planb #keepyourlawsoffourbodies
The way our lives crashed together here in Idaho h The way our lives crashed together here in Idaho has been one of the best things in such a hard season of life! Love you my dear friend, and not just because we share the same name!​​​​​​​​
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#Deconstruction #DeconstructingChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #DeconstructingFaith #Exvangelical #Exvangelicals #TraumaRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #FaithJourney #Spirituality #Deconversion #FaithDeconstruction #FaithCrisis #FaithTransition #SpiritualAbuse #SpiritualCoach #ChurchHurt #CultSurvivor
Why not speak to us who are actually deconstructin Why not speak to us who are actually deconstructing? Is it because our reasons for leaving and deconstructing make you uncomfortable?😬​​​​​​​​
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. #Deconstruction #DeconstructingChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #DeconstructingFaith #Exvangelical #Exvangelicals #TraumaRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #FaithJourney #Spirituality #Deconversion #FaithDeconstruction #FaithCrisis #FaithTransition #SpiritualAbuse #SpiritualCoach #ChurchHurt #CultSurvivor
Making clay earrings has been a wonderful self-car Making clay earrings has been a wonderful self-care activity and it has accidentally turned into a fun business! I might plug it from time to time on here but if you want to follow my business page for all my clay earrings and goodies check out @LaceAndHerClay on here and on Tik Tok!​​​​​​​​
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. #ClayEarrings #PolymerClay #PolymerClayEarrings #ClayJewelry #HandmadeEarrings #HandmadeJewelry #PolymerClayJewelry #Crafter #EarringsOfTheDay #PolymerClayArt #ShopSmall #SmallBusiness #LocalBusiness #WomenOwnedBusiness #ILoveEarrings #StatementEarrings #ClayArtist #SculpeyClay
My deconstruction journey has been wild. Being rai My deconstruction journey has been wild. Being raised as an evangelical I as taught we had all the answers. For so long things were very black and white. Now, there are many days I don't know what I think about God. The amazing thing is, I'm ok with that. I've gotten comfortable with the unknown, asking questions, doubting, and just being ok not having it all figured out.​​​​​​​​
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#Deconstruction #DeconstructingChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #DeconstructingFaith #Exvangelical #Exvangelicals #TraumaRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #FaithJourney #Spirituality #Deconversion #FaithDeconstruction #FaithCrisis #FaithTransition #SpiritualAbuse #SpiritualCoach #ChurchHurt #CultSurvivor
Did this confuse anyone else, or was it just me?? Did this confuse anyone else, or was it just me?? ​​​​​​​​
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#Deconstruction #DeconstructingChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #DeconstructingFaith #Exvangelical #Exvangelicals #TraumaRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #FaithJourney #Spirituality #Deconversion #FaithDeconstruction #FaithCrisis #FaithTransition #SpiritualAbuse #SpiritualCoach
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