I know that title can make people cringe, but it’s true. If you’re here reading this because, you yourself are deconstructing, then you probably understand where I’m coming from, but for everyone else let me explain.
I grew up in many evangelical circles. In each and every one I was taught that my job to teach people about Jesus, save souls, and bring people to Christ. That’s the whole mission of Chrisitianity, because the alternative is an afterlife burning in hell.
So, by me saying people who deconvert during deconstruction is ok or that I don’t purposely lead people to Jesus, is against everything I was taught as a “good little Christian.”
But this kind of thinking is a big part of religious trauma.
I’ll Let’s break it down.
OUR BELIEFS ARE THE ONLY TRUE BELIEFS
We are told that our beliefs are “the one and only true beliefs” and without them you won’t make it into heaven.
That teaches us to not question or think for ourselves out of fear of going to hell. This kind of indoctrination makes us believe what we’re being told without taking the time to think and feel for ourselves.
IT’S THE DEVEL LEADING YOU ASTRAY
When we do think for ourselves, start asking questions, or showing any doubt we’re told it’s just the devil trying to lead us away from God. This disconnects us from our body and mind which in turn makes it very hard for many people that grew up with this belief to make even the simplest of decisions.
We are left paralyzed by fear in making the wrong decision just in case it’s not God, but the devil leading us astray from God.
For example, right now there are so many Christians throwing a fit over the movie Turning Red and I saw one guy saying its movies and media like this that the devil uses to plant seeds in us that eventually lead us away from God. That fear makes people feel that even watching a simple kids movie can come between them and their relationship with God.
FEAR, IT’S ALL FEAR.
So much of Chrisitianity’s beliefs are rooted in fear and manipulation. Those two motivaters are strong and toxic.
Don’t watch this movie or you’ll go to Hell.
Don’t hand out with non Christians or they will pull you away from God.
Don’t trust your heart beasue it will lead you astray.
Fear & manipulation are toxic motivators and I refuse to let them run my life or beliefs anymore.
I think there’s beauty in all beliefs and religion. When we approach religion with such a black and white way of thinking we miss the bigger picture and even miss the humanity of the person standing in front of us. As a Religious Trauma Recovery Coach, I’m not here to try to convince you of my beliefs or guide you towards a version of Religion I agree with. A huge part of the coaching I do is to help my clients learn to think for themselves and feel what is right for them without shame, guilt, or hinderance from past indoctrination.
If their deconstruction leads them to dismantle their former beliefs and rebuild and healthier view of spirituality, then wonderful.
If their deconstruction leads them to deconvert from religion all together then wonderful.
This journey is unique to each individual and everyone’s journey is beautiful.