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August 15 · Leave a Comment

Self Care During Deconstruction

Deconstruction· Self Care

Self Care
Self Care

Deconstructing your faith can be one of the hardest seasons of life you walk through. It’s important that you make self-care a regular priority.

Why do you need to make it a priority? 

If you’ve found this page then most likely you’re already deconstructing and understand the stress, anxiety, and downright depression it can bring. If you’re at the beginning stages or been avoiding your faith questions all together, take this as your warning. The season ahead is a mixture of all the emotions. *Stress, Excitement, Happiness, Depression, Anxiety, Freedom, and so much more! 

Unfortunatly, most people who deconstruct loose relationships with people they love dearly. It may be close friends or even family. The loss of these relationships can be one of the biggest hits to our mental health so having some self-care activities you regularly do can help.

So what is Self Care? 

Self Care – “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” (Oxford Dictionary) 

This can be done in a multitude of ways and adapted to fit the needs and lifestyle of every individual person. What one person calls a self-care activity may be stressful for another. 

I know people who LOVE putting together puzzles and find it to be one of their favorite self-care activities, but I on the other hand HATE putting puzzles together. Maybe it’s my ADHD, or the frustration that comes from finishing a puzzle only to be missing the last piece. 

I mean, is there anything more irritating? I think not, but that’s just me. 

Goals of Self Care

The main goals of self-care are to help calm your central nervous system, release tension your body is holding onto, and give your mind a mental break.

When we’re walking through deconstruction our nervous system can get activated on the regular. This can appear by feeling triggered, having anxiety or panic attacks, having a short fuse, feeling restless and more. 

By implementing self-care it can help give your mind and body the break it so desperately needs. 

What does Self-Care look like for you? 

Fining what self-care activities work for you can take some time of trial and error. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you brainstorm some ideas.

  • What brings you joy? 
  • What helps you relax? (A quiet room, being still, moving your body…) 
  • Do you have a hobby? If so, is this hobby stressful? 
  • Do you want to do your self-care alone, with friends, or both?

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If you’re struggling to come up with some ideas here’s a list that may help you. 

  • Go for a Walk
  • Go for a Hike
  • Dance!
  • Do some Yoga
  • Meditate
  • Get a Manicure or Pedicure 
  • Give Yourself a Manicure or Pedicure
  • Take a Bubble Bath
  • Do a Face Mask
  • Get a Massage
  • Read a Fiction Book
  • Journal
  • Have a girl’s night! 
  • Go on a date with your spouse or partner. 
  • Get out in the Sunshine
  • Go for a Swim 
  • Take a Nap
  • Watch Stand Up Comedy 
  • Bake or Cook 
  • Take Yourself on a Date
  • Take Yourself out for Coffee
  • Call a Friend
  • Do a No-Screen Hour

This list isn’t extensive but it should give you some great ideas to build off of and find what self care activities work for you. 

If you can fit it into your schedule, I suggest doing 1 big self-care activity every week. I think of big self-care activates as the ones that take up the most time, like going out with friends, date night, doing a no-screen hour, or getting your nails done. Then try to find a small self-care activity that you do every day like reading, journaling, going for a walk, dancing, meditating, or yoga. 

If you miss a week or can’t fit something in your schedule every single day that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up over it. Try again and move forward. 

I hope that helps. Comment below with what self-care activities help you. 

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Hello! I’m Laci…

Hi my name is Laci & I’m a deconstructing exvangelical who’s passionate about helping others heal from religious trauma and find what spirituality means to them. Read More….

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