I want you to know I don’t judge you even though I’m sure you have felt it from almost everyone around you, and for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry we as a community and as Christians haven’t done a better job at comforting you and helping you heal from, what I’m sure was a very difficult decision. I’m sorry for the burden you must carry every day without anyone else even realizing it. I’m sorry there hasn’t been a safe place for you to come and talk about that time in your life and work through it. I’m truly sorry.
As a Christian I am ashamed at how many in our community have treated you because of your decision. Many times, I have scrolled through Facebook and been in complete shock with some, if not all, of their comments when it comes to the topic of abortions. My heart sinks and I’m left thinking, “Wow, Jesus must be ashamed in us.” I can’t imagine him walking the Earth and approving of what is said to and about you woman. I whole heartedly believe he is looking down from Heaven shaking his head screaming, “You have all missed the point.
What’s worse is when I put myself in your shoes. A woman like yourself who had an abortion and is sitting there reading all these comments. I imagine it being a lot like pouring salt in the wound. One moment you see a cute video of a cat sneezing and the next a 25-foot wave a judgement and shame hits you square in the face. In that moment you, unwillingly, are forced to relive that dreadful day all over again. Once again, I’m so sorry.
I may not know how you feel or what you’re going through, but I want you to know that there are some Christians out there that truly don’t judge you for making that decision. We would love to be the person you can trust to help you walk the road of healing. I’m sorry we are hard to find and that it may feel like you’re drowning in a sea of judgment, but I promise you we are out there. I pray that somehow God aligns the steps so that one day our paths can cross, and you can start to heal.
I know I don’t know your story or what lead you to make that decision, but I do know two things. First is the absolute fact that you are still loved and cherished by God. He sees past all of our decisions and loves us just the same. You my friend are no different, no matter what decision you made. I promise. Second is the fact that this one decision doesn’t have to dictate the rest of your life. It may feel like it many times, but I promise you there is more out there in this world for you and you are 100% worth it. You can walk the road of healing and let yourself conquer your past because no matter what, you deserve it.
I’m sorry that we, as a Christian community, haven’t done a better job helping you live beyond your past and seeing you’re worth more than all the stars in the sky and grains of sand on the Earth. I hope and pray that his letter helps you begin your healing journey.
Just wanted to say thank you for this. I had an abortion of a very wanted baby who was very sick and likely would not have made it to birth. If he had, his life would have been short and painful. I believe that we made the right decision both for him and my family, but it hurts so much knowing there are self righteous people out there who call me a monster or a murderer. I’m not. I am a mother who was given an impossible choice, and I am a mother who deeply grieves the loss of a child that I will never know.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. It truly breaks my heart. I’m also sorry that you’re still walking through that pain today. I can’t imagine. Feel free to email me any time if you just need someone to vent to. No judgment, no shame. Just a lending ear.