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March 21 · Leave a Comment

What is Religious Trauma?

Coaching· Healing· Religious Trauma· Spirituality· Trauma

Religious Trauma
Religious Trauma

I’ve been asked multiple times how religion in general can cause trauma. I get it, it’s hard for some people to see something they have experienced as good and wholesome in a way that’s harmful to others. 

Unfortunately, the reality is it can and does.

So religious trauma usually comes up when someone starts questioning their long-held beliefs that have led to them being indoctrinated in their faith. For the most part these people are coming out of more fundamentalist and controlling religions, but not always. 

The level of religious trauma one experiences can vary depending on the person, what kind of religious environment they grew up in, how indoctrinated they were, if their family is indoctrinated as well, what their religious beliefs are, so much more. 

For the most part Religious Trauma comes up when someone starts doubting or questioning their beliefs. When those doubts turn into changing beliefs, we call that deconstruction. Some people deconstruct themselves all the way out of religion. Some deconstruct but then reconstruct to build a healthier view and relationship with God and themselves. Both ways are healthy and acceptable. 

 One of the pioneers of Religious Trauma is from a woman named Marlene Winell. She has her Ph. D in psychology and in 1994 and wrote a book called Leaving the Fold. The book is still in production and sells tons of copies every single year. 

Marlene herself grew up in fundamentalist Christianity and in college started to experience a world outside her “Christian circle” and eventually she deconverted. Through her own experience with Religious Trauma it led her to do some of the most phenomenal work pioneering the field as we knew it today as Religious Trauma. 

In 2011 she coined the phrase Religious Trauma Syndrome and listed out common symptoms people experience when they have Religious Trauma. 

They are… 

  • Poor Critical Thinking Skills
  • Difficulty Making Decisions
  • Decreased Sense of Self-Worth
  • Difficulty Building Strong Relationships
  • Being Unfamiliar with Mainstream Culture
  • Struggling with Belonging
  • Nightmares
  • Sleeping Issues
  • Eating Issues
  • Sexual Dysfunction (Shame related to sex or your sexuality and more.)
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Loneliness

From someone who jumped into deconstruction about 2 years ago I can tell you this list is spot on. For me I experienced 11 out of the 14 symptoms listed above. It was one of the hardest and trying times of my life, and to be honest I’m still walking through it. 

When we think of trauma, we usually think of some kind of catastrophic event, someone coming back from war, or being physically abused in some way. The thing about Religious Trauma is it’s, for the most part, emotional and developmental. 

That doesn’t make it any less impactful on your life. 

Now I get that it’s not all churches. There are many congregations, especially progressive ones, out there that are aware of the harm some religions and denominations have caused and are actively trying to do better.  

But none the less, religious trauma is real and many people are suffering with it. 

Unfortunately, even though there have been professionals working in the field for decades, Religious Trauma is still underrepresented by mental health professionals. 

As a Religious Trauma Recovery Coach that’s where I come in. When I was seeing my therapist during my deconstruction it wasn’t bad, but she didn’t understand deconstruction. It was great to have her help me through other childhood trauma but the most growth I got during this time was from my Life Coach who was also deconstructing. Processing with him helped me heal immensely. 

If you’re suffering from Religious Trauma I would love to help you find a life of happiness beyond your trauma. Feel free to book a free consultation here. 

Religious Trauma can be debilitating but you don’t have to walk this rode alone and it won’t last forever!

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Hello! I’m Laci…

Hi my name is Laci & I’m a deconstructing exvangelical who’s passionate about helping others heal from religious trauma and find what spirituality means to them. Read More….

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Allow yourself the time to grieve and process. Allow yourself the time to grieve and process.
I grew up in small town Texas. Where everyone kno I grew up in small town Texas.

Where everyone knows everyone and somehow we are all inter-connected.

When I visited my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins we gathered in more small towns.

These are the kinds of small towns that most people would never know exist, and the townspeople are more than happy to keep their hometown out of the public eye so they can preserve that small town feel.

These towns have a way of making you feel safe, that’s why many people call them home.

After I got married my parents moved to Uvalde for my dad’s work and lived there for a couple years.

The Uvalde house was the last place my mom, dad, and all my siblings and I spent Christmas together.

Uvalde is another one of those small Texas towns, but unfortunately everyone now knows this town.

But what they don’t know is how a tragedy like this impacts a small town.

It hits different.

Small towns people are inter-connected in a deep way.

Uvalde citizens are mourning the loss of their child, their child’s best friend(s), their child’s teacher whom they may have known for years or even grew up with. Teens and adults are mourning the loss of the child they babysat.

Some may be mourning all of the above at the same time.

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I have a child in public school and I can’t imagine experience this kind of trauma.

From the moment I heard the news I broke. I don’t hide my emotions well, so my kids know I’m upset.

They asked why but I didn’t tell them. I just said that there was something on the news that made me sad.

I know she will probably hear about it at school tomorrow and come home with questions.

I won’t know what to say. Just like I didn’t know what to say or how to explain the fact that we didn’t have ‘active shooter drills’ growing up like she does.

The reality is, this is her normal, because this is the new normal.

I hate it.

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The few times I’ve opened up about being unhappy with my body I get that response, or even, “You don’t know what real body image issues are.”

So I shut up. Feeling as if my insecurities were invalid because I wasn’t big enough to have them, I stopped opening up and silently hated my body and berated it in my own head.

I finally opened up to a dear friend who is a survivor of anorexia, in which the battle almost claimed her life. She not only listened, but validated all my feelings. For the first time I felt seen. Thank you @lacijanea 

I’m still processing and to be honest I still hate my body. At this point I’m not trying to learn to love my body, I’m just trying to accept it, then maybe eventually I can love it.

So this is me being vulnerable, buying clothes that fit me regardless of the size, wearing a body suit and trying not to focus on my rolls that show, or the fact that my once thigh gap is no more. This is me trying to be comfortable in my own skin, one day at a time.

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Fun fact, I never thought tattoos were sinful, but Fun fact, I never thought tattoos were sinful, but I sure as hell was given many pamphlets and articles to explain how they were. Needless to say I didn’t listen. 😂 I’m back at it again! This is tattoo number 2 for today! 😁 Is this self care? Who cares, I say yes!!
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The way our lives crashed together here in Idaho h The way our lives crashed together here in Idaho has been one of the best things in such a hard season of life! Love you my dear friend, and not just because we share the same name!​​​​​​​​
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Why not speak to us who are actually deconstructin Why not speak to us who are actually deconstructing? Is it because our reasons for leaving and deconstructing make you uncomfortable?😬​​​​​​​​
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Making clay earrings has been a wonderful self-car Making clay earrings has been a wonderful self-care activity and it has accidentally turned into a fun business! I might plug it from time to time on here but if you want to follow my business page for all my clay earrings and goodies check out @LaceAndHerClay on here and on Tik Tok!​​​​​​​​
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My deconstruction journey has been wild. Being rai My deconstruction journey has been wild. Being raised as an evangelical I as taught we had all the answers. For so long things were very black and white. Now, there are many days I don't know what I think about God. The amazing thing is, I'm ok with that. I've gotten comfortable with the unknown, asking questions, doubting, and just being ok not having it all figured out.​​​​​​​​
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Did this confuse anyone else, or was it just me?? Did this confuse anyone else, or was it just me?? ​​​​​​​​
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