Why the Phrase “Well, They Aren’t Real Christians” Needs to Stop

So many times, during my deconstruction I’ve heard people say, “Well they aren’t real Christians.” 

When I hear this, it’s coming from 1 of 2 places. Either it’s 1 type of Christian calling out another type of Christian for their toxic or hypocritical behavior, or 1 group of Christians are trying to invalidate another group of Christians for being allies to the LGBTQIA community. 

Either way it needs to stop, and here is why. 

When you say they aren’t real Christians it’s your way of gaslighting the issue at hand. Whatever’s going on makes you feel uncomfortable and rather than you sit in that discomfort and process through what you’re feeling, you decide to distance yourself from it as much as possible. This results in you invalidating an entire group of people and making no progress forward. 

It’s the same type of bullshit when we talk about how abusive and toxic men have been to us in the past and men’s first response is, “It’s not all men.” Or “Women can be toxic and abusive too.” 

It’s the same as us trying to say, “We don’t claim those racist white people.” We have to claim them, THEY’RE WHITE. If we just went around saying we don’t claim them, it brings no light to the real issue at hand, ignores the role we play in racism, and makes no progress for change in the future. 

When we say “Well, they aren’t real Christians,” we are ignoring the systemic issues that have existed within Christianity from its birth. 

Colonialism, Racism, Toxic Masculinity, the Patriarchy and so much more.

I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but you can’t separate Christianity from these roots. When you try to do this, it just keeps the oppressed, oppressed and puts you on the side of the oppressor. When you try to invalidate an entire group of Christians, you’re actively minimizing the role Christianity has played in all these issues. 

I’m not saying that Christianity can’t move forward, because they can, but it will take admitting their part in all of the above and trying to course correct moving forward, instead of just trying to push it under the rug or say “Oh that’s just the past.” That completely ignores the role that each of these issues still actively plays in their religion to date. 

I’ll be honest, I don’t have hope for the evangelical Christian church. These issues aren’t new. People have been brining this stuff up for decades only to be ignored and gaslight time and time again. Instead of seeing real change on a global level they got invalidation with the cop out response, “Well they aren’t real Christians.” 

I know there are churches (more progressive churches) that are doing good and actively standing with marginalized communities and owning the wretched history of their religion, but unfortunately in today’s world, they’re few and far between. 

To those that are actively fighting, thank you. 

I see you.